okay so san francisco was everything i dreamed of and more (❁´◡`❁)*✲ﾟ*
i spent a lot of time with loki, who is probably one of the people i love best in this world, and it was so deliriously nice to be in a beautiful city with a beautiful person with a beautiful heart. i can’t think of a better time that we could have seen each other and to have the freedom to move in this vast new place, in this city that i am beginning to think might have some part in my future, if i play my cards right—
i got to see vivian, too, very briefly; we went for a walk and there’s something so particularly californian that i think i am first seeing here; that i am already growing to love maybe just because it is novelty. there is a certain kind of color palette that fills the city and the surrounding area. when i took the train down to san jose i wanted to eat the entire landscape with my eyes it was so different and magnificent to me.
being in the bay area made me think a lot about my future and the small but certain place that i will grow to occupy in this world. part of it is the nature of the friends i was visiting; loki and leo are both working men now. it reminds me of meeting people in portland who are just beginning to make lives for themselves. eventually i will need to make a life for myself.
passing through the desert i got leo an air plant because i wanted to give him something neither of us could kill. apparently you can kill them, with sheer neglect, but i’m hoping that doesn’t happen. “you have to mist it every day,” i said. “you have to miss it every day? that’s commitment,” he said.